CHRISTINA V. ANTONOVSKAYA

Every Single Thing The Body Does is Either Like Solving an Equation or Trying to Gamble With a Bad Hand; This Has Been A Message From The Government of Canada

 
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Funny how most people would agree that there’s
an abundance of people on the planet.
Funny how there’s commercials that are
founded on the concept of selling intimacy.
Something about the ground turning in.
And money still goes through me to be
regurgitated as words and nothing more,
the words often as cold and hard as it is.
Curious about “earth-shattering sex” stated,
does that make it a cold or hot one, since they
promised us both apparently. It’s the condom,
he said, almost pulling it off, but not almost.
The ability to mentally rotate objects in
space belongs to males (?) and it has more
functions than you might think. The most
attractive thing about me could be something
about my sleep habits; it’s the drooling, eh, or it
could be the way my body loves body warmth.
And is as warm and attractive as any body.

An overly exposed diamond swivels about,
and couples age 25-35 kiss with their mouths
a little too big, and as though they aimed teeth
at each other instead of lips. Does it mean anything
if an engagement ring is the shape of a tear, or if
the thing has three, four, six, diamonds, or that
the surrounding diamonds in a wedding band
someone left in the university washroom fall off
all the time even from gentle wear?

Momentary survival includes the freedom
felt vicariously through watching D skating down
King Street or around somewhere downtown
pausing at the bridge to say something about how
everybody feels sadness, you’re not lost, though,
are you?, because if you are, let me find you. See the
gorgeousity-made-flesh that is the nuanced Toronto
(Hotline Bling) city skyline, find out what
it means to you. Or don’t. (Nobody cares.) 

“Fucking a 90 pound girl would be like
ouch, ouch”, “You wear the colour black
like, a lot…” And so was secondary school.
You could only really talk to a certain teacher,
you would often find. Even if you messed up your
Oedipus Rex eye-gauging horror scene lines.
What a strange play anyways. What a strange thing
to be doing in general, no?

“Go work out your problems” “Go work out”
“Go work” The consequences of being this loved;
Drink this, eat something, watch this movie with me,
Drink, drink, eat, watch, c’mon watch this movie,
Domesticity, watch this, domesticity movie, watch
Bathe, clean, bathe, breathe.

Confessing, corroborating, conspiring, nothing worse,
They say, hey, see you later babe!…wait, what?
Is that why you gave me back my
room key, (can’t even touch one of us,
it’s against the rules of the house)
which was more trouble to
get to you than was worth it.
Sorry, WHAT man doesn’t
want to be loved, what religion or reason?
The poly-esters,
the meiosis, what splits apart and comes
back together for us. Every single thing the
body does. 80s girls and those just at heart,
their L’Oréal Elnett, vinyls, wild eyes, rules,
divas, Diva Cups, those things should be softer,
jewels, real and fake, friends, the same.

Did you all already…miss me in love? Or the
promises that were vowed, the time spent
outside on late August days. Some things that are
essential
are also quite elusive. There’s little use in trying
to contain oxygen in any other element or material
because it just likes being transcendent. 
Just accept me for water and oxygen,
your sinners for saints.

 
 
 

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Christina V. Antonovskaya’s prose works and poetry have been featured online; on personal blogs, Metatron, Lemon Star Magazine, L’Éphémère Review, Awkward Mermaid Magazine, among others, and she is currently working on publishing her book of poetry titled ‘'The Symptom'. From just north of Toronto, completed BA in Psychology, and writing has been a serious passion since early teen years and she uses it to understand and make sense of the world and her own perceptions of it.