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KAI MILLSON-TAYLOR 

 

Untitled mindfulness with sinus infection

IN
Snurfle, snuffle, glub, glub, glub.
Try to hold it
The dusty, cat hair particulate lung manna,

OUT
Phew, snoop, snoop, gurgle.
A weather balloon of mucus inflates out of the side of my nose.
I am supposed to want to keep breathing,
to keep settling more deeply into the relaxation,
into the moment.

I am supposed to want to keep this going in a rhythm,
I can’t seem to sync this body clock.
A combination of nerves, sinusitis and a chest cold.
An all inclusive,
anti rest package;
all expenses paid.


James Deen

Was it cool because the work was about DRUGS
Or
Did
The
Drugs
Convince
Me
That
The
Work
Was Cool.
Stuck in a river of molasses, Codeine, Xanax.
I am on top of the world
I am THE best thing
I am WORTHY of love
I am worthy of COCAINE paid for with O.S.A.P. 


Grounding exercises

Stay in the body;
feel the tingling in your wrists,
the tightness in your chest
and the vibrations pushing down on your eyelids.

An anchor is pulling you, away from what is really going on.
Distracting you from the negative schema’s that surround:
-Poverty
-Unemployment
-Mental illness
-Impulse control

1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,7 Nanaimo bars inhaled.
Maybe once that settles, you could be okay.


Exercise in self-forgiveness

This type of healing is cyclical.
You may fell at times like you are running the same race;
again,
again,
again.

Until your body believes that it is okay to fail,
Until your biddy can trust your reactions to the failures.
Treat your failures,
make them your neighbours.
When they come asking for;
a cup of flour, a pint of milk.

Breathe in,
to your pain.
Locate the space in your body that it is affecting
Dismantle the reflex to think,
to logic.

Do not misgive your form
You cannot lie to the body,
Exhale.

/

Kai Millson-Taylor is a writer, reader and collage artist who was trained in Integrated Media Arts at OCAD University. In 2014 in collaboration with Jasper Akitt they published and edited Jaspers chapbook Phantom Bones on the press Waks-Fruit. Kai practices on unceded lands of the Mississauga's of the Credit, the Anishnabeg, the Chippewa, the Haudenosaunee and the Wendat indigenous people. @kai.w.m.t