you don’t have brothers anymore

picked me up by my hair and blew me out
with pursed lips,
strained at the scalp

(i was The Iron Giant
and you were just a boy—
i should've crushed you,
ate you whole

everyone cries at the ending
but maybe he just was sick of that kid's bullshit
so he killed himself)

picked me up by my foot
like The Fool of Husks
ask me if i'm busy tonight

huffed me out
like a half smoked joint

no forgiveness in this body;
I konmari'd it to make room
for several weeks worth of diarrhea and skin flakes
i keep peeling off my eyelids

how about

i could just be
a half pearled threat
hecked and checkered
like toadstool and litter
unplugged beer, whizzing



Syd Lazarus feels in order to best understand them, you should know they once cried over an episode of Rugrats. 24-years-old, Torontonian, and a graduate of Ryerson University with a BFA in Film; they are currently in the process of co-writing and co-directing a horror-comedy about Horse Girls. Their writing has appeared in such works as Shameless Mag, Lunch Ticket, McClung’s and The Eyeopener. They are looking forward to honing their skills in the Banff Centre March Writing Retreat 2019. They can be found on @lazaruswitch on Instagram.


intermittent fasting

need me a man who takes my trauma in their big dry hands fingers my filthy grief
makes me cum that garbage juice
(but isn’t afraid to make my bed in the morning, you know?)

hope he remembers my mother’s name
or gives my zodiac chart a facial
—maybe i’m a manic pixie dream abuser

so I'm ghosting the worst blow-job ive ever given
because i am starting to think that sober sex is for str8 people

“syd, it rly hurts when u compare me 2 ur rapist” :(

warrants this reply:
“i have been promised so many love songs but all I got was this PTSD” :(

bloated public park pussy, sweating wine
blown across the popcorn texture of a frontal lobe